Dear Reader, no matter how empowered a woman you are, there are times when you’ve surely jumped at the chime of an incoming text. Waiting-for-a-text must surely be one of the most pathetic human situations in history, yet we have all been in that situation. So how do you change this; how do you take back the power and make him sweat? What makes him chase you?
The advice we are about to give you might be age-old, yet we need to remind you of these tips because, simply put, they work!
1. You never ever text first!
Yes, it doesn’t matter how long it has been. It doesn’t matter if you have a perfectly good reason to text, and a lowkey way of doing it. DON’T DO IT. If he does not text, and it has been two weeks, then surely (unless you’re caught in a modern day Romeo & Juliet type of situation), he isn’t that into you? So, girl, practice some self-control. If you have to, type your witty text out somewhere, but don’t send it to him. The girl men chase doesn’t text first.
2. You know that you can make a guy kind of like you, but kind-of-like is not enough!
If you want a guy to chase you, don’t settle for being someone’s second choice, don’t settle for being someone’s option B. You can make a guy who’s lukewarm keep up the dynamic of kind of liking you for a while, but it won’t last. The quicker you learn this, the more you’ll save yourself from being involved in a lot of frustrating situations. Let me tell you, the girl men chase doesn’t really pay attention to the men who are “kind of” into her.
3. Sometimes, you are not afraid to blow it.
At the same time that we tell you what to do and what not to do, we have to give you a contradictory advice here and say, one day when you feel especially hot in your new H&M dress, you should go ahead and be brazen, spontaneous, charming and to hell with the rules, don’t be afraid to blow it–do what you gotta do. I would remind you however that this kind of mood I am describing comes but once in a blue moon. Overthinking some dude’s reaction definitely does not count as being unafraid to blow it.
4. You know your strengths.
You should know perfectly well what is good about you. It might be your eyes, play it up with the right eyeliner. It might be the way you’re a girl who can take on any guy at the pool table. It might be the fact that you’re smart. Once you know your strengths, don’t be afraid of his not being convinced by them. Coca Cola never worried about being just another soda, or about tea drinkers. Know your strengths and flaunt them. Men chase women who know the secret behind why they’re valuable.
5. You also know that we want what others want.
This is a sad fact, and it should never become the most important fact in your life. But almost everyone wants what other people want (let’s not universalize here and say “everyone”).
With this in mind, I want to tell you that one is the magic number. That is one is the number of time you get to very casually mention an ex to your new guy in a breezy and overall positive manner. This is helpful because you will be planting into his mind the idea of you with another guy. In case he is so sure he is the only man around for you, planting such a picture has some benefits. He will understand that you’re wanted. But remember, you only get to do it once.
6. You keep him guessing.
I’ve always disagreed with the saying that game-playing is bad. I believe what is bad is not knowing your own mind. It is bad to play with someone’s heart if you’re not even sure in the first place that they are the one for you. But once you are sure, if you are playing for the long-term, I would say in the context that a little game-playing isn’t necessarily a bad idea.
This means, keep him on his toes! If you’ve been slightly too over-affectionate in the first days of dating someone, pull back. Anticipate what he assumes about the relationship and try to gently unsettle that assumption. Never allow him to take you for granted.
7. You keep busy with other things
Hey, I know it is Saturday night. But Saturday night is a perfectly good night to spend on an evening pedicure followed by a movie with your best friend. Enjoy whatever you enjoy in life and realize the weird trick in dating–the person who does less “wins.” If you want to make him sweat, seriously, don’t go all out for him. It is too early to go all out for any man. Going all out for the love of your life is one thing, but at the beginning of the dating game, the best advice I can give any woman is, make less of an effort. Remember your life, it is not defined by men (no matter how cute a particular man might be). 😉
Try out these tips, even as an experiment. And if you follow them to the core, I guarantee you you’ll have him sweating, you’ll have him off his couch and drafting and redrafting a text to you while he paces about the room.
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